amy gates

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:53:25 GMT

a year has passed
nothing's changed.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 06:46:08 GMT

sometimes its a tidal wave.

Tue, 06 May 2008 22:35:05 GMT

today i'm starting .
becoming a nicer person.
and today ends
the trashtalk.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 06:04:24 GMT

p.s. i have the worst timing.
maybe its fate?
i doubt it.
bad timing is bad timing.
i'm jinxed.
maybe for a reason?

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:34:09 GMT

"i go through guys every week, matt"
he replies, "i believe it."

i don't really. i change interest quickly and it has
been hard to find that mutual appreciation.
maybe i've found it.
maybe not.
i doubt it.

in other words,
i took my first bath in years
it was a calming exhausting experience
waiting for our weak faucets to fill up the tub
and i just sat there in warm water
it was nothing short of amazing.
i felt rejuvenated but now i am more tired than ever.

but this week has been good to me.
minus drinking all afternoon yesterday
and waking up at 2 am to elliott rapping against
my window for the second time in a week.
it makes me angry.

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:47:22 GMT

but you know i know when its a dream

and when i woke i wished i was still dreaming.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:37:34 GMT

i was on a roll
maybe it was the drink or the smoke
or the combination
but i believed everything i said
i took it all as truth
i was fascinated

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:44:04 GMT

it is always the case that
when i drink
i text
the wrong people
and write them
unreadable things
i think phones should
be built with features
that prevent drunk
text/dialing.

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:59:04 GMT

i dreamt last night that you were fat
and old
and hairier.
i smiled.
maybe it wasn't you
afterall.
dreams are dumb

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 06:24:56 GMT

it doesn't take a lot
for me to get swept
up into a whirlwind
of anxiety panic
self doubt &
lowliness
i want to be
disassociated
from this ciyt

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 09:30:24 GMT

it rains and sdpd shows.
everyone out.
i was having a slightly good time.
bored and not buzzed enough.
i feel dumb most of thetime.
i get punctuated frequent spurts
of intense loneliness and lowliness.
i
miss...
a lot of things. these days.
and other days.
maybe not tomorrow.
i don't know how i feel.

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:38:35 GMT

i leave for seattle shortly and i am nervous and excited. nervous about flying mostly. i rarely travel and i will be alone. i hope everything works out which it usually does in the end.

see you thursday.
p.s. i can't wait to smoke weed out of this baby.

i am a rock

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 04:07:45 GMT

i don't mind being alone.

(anymore)

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 04:16:25 GMT

barr - half of two times two (newer version)

i forgot about this song.
it is beautiful and catchy.
reminds me of summer nights driving with rory.

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 02:33:37 GMT

i hate the beatles.

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 06:22:39 GMT

dumb

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 23:03:45 GMT

san diego is awash in smoke.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 20:00:28 GMT

2003 all over again. this is fucking crazy. it's worse this time even though the smoke isn't as thick as it was four years ago. you can't escape it. it makes me think of what i would do if i was to leave my home. what's really important?

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 22:29:34 GMT

but why think about that when all the golden land's ahead of you and all kinds of unforseen events wait lurking to surprise you and make you glad you're alive to see?

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 02:51:09 GMT

i always hate these parts of the month.

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 10:33:42 GMT

i am in a rut
rut rut rut r
ut rut rut ur
ruttt.
i'm not drunk. too tired.
a little bit of beer left over.
cotton mouth.
silence and pee are the most deaf
ening sensations.
i hate it.
i'm in a rut.
stuck.
i'm too tired.

Mon, 07 May 2007 02:30:02 GMT

up down up down up down. i'm somewhere in the middle again.

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 23:21:11 GMT

“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 11:05:01 GMT

when you're drunk, silence is loud.
and pee is neverending.

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 06:24:36 GMT

i started my day by drinking mimosas early in the morning and skipping school and riding my bike to the zoo with friends and looking at animals.